i bumped into my ex-girlfriend's brother
it brought back memories from the past
i'd told her that i'd never love another
got her hooked, then disappeared real fast

(and) i thought about the message he should give her
"just say that i'm alive and doing fine"?
i was gonna say-ay-ay that i still love her
then i thought about it and changed my mind

   just tell her i'm dead.  tell her i'm dead,
   that i took a police bullet in the head
       that i died along the interstate
       that i slid the wrong way at home plate
       that i was doing great
   but now i'm dead

[verse]

   just tell her i'm dead.  tell her i'm dead,
   had a stroke on the night that i was wed
       tell her i swallowed a hockey puck
       that i was run down by a monster truck
       or that i stopped giving a fuck
   and now i'm dead

[verse][bridge,whatever]

   just tell her i'm dead.  tell her i'm dead,
   that i didn't see the light had turned red
       that i'm buried on the ten yard line 
       that i suffocated in a ball of twine 
       that i was doing fine
   but now i'm dead