Riff is kinda like The Jam's "In The City" verse or something off of Get The Knack

this is the worst song ever written
once you hear it you’ll feel bitten
it’s worse than non-alcoholic beer
poured with acid in your ear

it’s worse than Mr. Roboto
by Styx
or anything on the radio
in 1986!

and the chorus goes AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH

this is the worst song ever heard
when i sing it people flip the bird
then they go shoot heroin
or worse! they turn vegetarian

it’s worse than Donald Trump’s mouthful
of shit
but Jon Bon Jovi called!
he wants to cover it!

and the chorus goes AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH
AAAAAAAAHAIAIIAIAIHIHHIAHIAHAIAH

this is the worst song we've recorded
just like me, it should have been aborted
it has uneven timing
and it doesn't even rhyme much

the part that's not in English needs a
bildunterschrift
it's still a little better than anything by 
Taylor Swift!

who wants to hear the chorus again?!?!?
(insert gunshot sound effect here)